we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
