I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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