We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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