im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
