this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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