walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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