guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
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