well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
