May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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