so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
