You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
