Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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