We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize