I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
