I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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