think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need water and some morals
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
