We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She even gives head with a lisp.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
