Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
