Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
