Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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