i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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