love makes seman taste better
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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