i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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