Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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