I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
