My pussy is not your playground.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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