I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
