..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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