just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
