I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
