she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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