last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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