All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
