I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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