She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
youre lurking in front of me
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
