I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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