why do cheetos always look like penises
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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