i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
