Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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