also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
