I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
