i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
