How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
