If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
