Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
