There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
