Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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