I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
