So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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