the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
