he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm at about main and main street
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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