We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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